HELPING CHILDREN TO DEVELOP OTHER TYPES OF PERSONALITY

Good personality development in children is largely dependent on the early efforts of the parents. We want our children to be alert and attentive, calm and collected, bold and brave, confident and self-motivated and above all full of enthusiasm and energy but all these traits in human beings do not always come naturally. We need to nurture these and ensure that our children grow up with these and many more good human traits to lead a healthy, wealthy and wiser life.

If your children are alert and attentive then they can definitely learn to take care of themselves in this competitive and fast-moving world. Your children can be developed to be reasonably good at various types of games, their schoolwork and in other demands of family life.

Parents need to be methodical in their approach and be very patient.

If you are able to keep your children healthy, fit and happy, keep their world about them interesting, show them that there is fascination in common things then you are successful in broadening their interest and keeping their spirit of adventure alive.

So instead of interrupting the concentration of your children, you must regularly be with your children, see what they are doing and try to share their interest for a moment before you ask them to do any work for you. These actions will hopefully make your children more alert and attentive.

If your children are able to pay careful attention to and concentrate well on their work at home, in school and in the community, then as parents you have been able to give them adequate training and great value. You can develop solid concentration in the children by giving them appropriate and adequate play and work materials with many possible uses. Guide them towards new possibilities as soon as they seem restless and tired. Always admire what the children do themselves and avoid distractions while they work, play and study.

In order to develop the traits such as appreciation and gratitude among your children, it is advisable that you follow the Biblical injunction:

Once you have taught your children to appreciate and express gratitude for all the kind and lovely things of life, your children are certain to be popular throughout their life.

Our modern living demands that we look at the virtues of Hinduism and teach the essence of Satyam! Shivam!! Sundaram!!! Which mean – truth, beauty and goodness.

We have been told that all children treasure their aspirations and they can be greatly influenced by their parents and their home life. Our children aspire to be like their beloved parents and later in life they choose role models or their heroes on these models. Never make fun of your children‘s aspirations.

If your boys want to become firemen, aviators, detectives or sailors and your girls prefer acting, nursing, teaching or cooking, encourage them and show your faith in their lofty ideals, praise their progress but do not impose your own aspirations on your children.

As the children grow up, their aspirations and choice of career would change, and with careful guidance, you as parents can make them admire and work towards their choices with best results and quality thoughts.

Many of our children are neither cautious nor prudent and can fall into danger but we as parents have to protect our children from all dangers by making them aware of all good safety practices and giving them the knowledge about any dangers that they are going to face in their growing up process. Children quickly learn to be cautious when they encounter things that hurt them. This self-awareness leads them to become cautious and prudent themselves.

However, if we continuously warn our children of danger and instil fear of darkness, ghosts, villains, giants and other terrible things, we are teaching our children some aspects of cowardice. Instead of keeping children out of the water or swimming pools it is vital that we teach them how to swim well. Similarly, instead of forbidding them to climb up the tree or stairs we must teach them to do these things safely.

Let the children learn to rely on themselves as far as possible so that they can recognize oncoming danger and to meet or face these themselves. Our children must be taught the right way to cross the street and to carry knives and scissors so that they realise the danger in these activities and be cautious. Simply speaking we must tell our children to move ahead but warn them to watch their steps.

Our children must have firm belief that things would turn out for the best and to brighten their lives they should learn to be cheerful. Optimism and cheerfulness among our children rest largely upon their good health and their faith in the parental love. To keep the children happy we need to do little things like giving a genuine word of praise, telling a little joke, singing a song, playing a game and providing simple toys. Parents should always show sympathy for pain and disappointment in the children.

It is absolutely vital that we as parents instil a habit of cleanliness among our children. Cleanliness brings good health and we all know that ―a sound body has a sound mind‖. We also know that cleanliness is next to godliness. Firstly, the parents should set good examples and then it will be easier to ask children to wash hands before meals and after visiting the toilets, brush teeth after every meal, comb hair properly and put on clean clothes. If we show our children clean and healthy attitude to life then our children will automatically learn to be clean and healthy.

The state of feeling sure and certain grows in the children gradually. If as parents we are to make our children confident, we are improving their chances of success. Instead of giving up and running away from difficult situations and undertakings they learnt to tackle these head-on. The confident children will size up, prepare themselves and tackle these tasks with determination and definitely show good progress and success.

We as parents should show our confidence in children‘s schoolwork, their teachers, friends and neighbours. Our faith will make the children develop better self-confidence as well as maintain confidence in others. So let us make our children realize their limitations because if they fail and understand the reasons for their failures then they will be better prepared to try again. We must let the children realize that they have the required confidence within them and they know that they can do the work.

The state of being satisfied with what one has is very rare quality in human beings. A wise family refrains from uttering such words as ―we wish we could afford that‖ or ―we wish our father had a better job and made more money‖. These attitudes will make the children discontented.

So it is better to make your children be thankful for and be appreciative of all the common and beautiful things around them rather than feel that they are never satisfied with whatever they have got. Teach your children to appreciate a bright day, sunny morning, moonlit night, colourful garden and everything that is around them. Let them be satisfied with whatever they have.

When we make our children learn to act jointly with another person for a common purpose we give them a sense of satisfaction. Our family works together in harmony and we have a smoothly running household. By making the children feel that they are important and necessary part of the group we can encourage cooperation.

It is good to let the children feel where they can help others and get help. Younger children seem eager to cooperate and usually take directives but as they grow older and become self-assertive then we must be tactful to ask, suggest and consult rather than directing and commanding them.

BETTER FAMILY LIFE

To Protect Them Is Not to Love Them